I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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