put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
