my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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