You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
