You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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