A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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