What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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