Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
