you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
