M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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