I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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