dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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