I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
