We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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