Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
