Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
