I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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