Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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