Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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