Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.

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(253): View more from Washington

Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.

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(817): View more from Texas

I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)

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(714): View more from California

Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now

(714): View more from California

False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower

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