Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
