Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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