Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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