in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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