If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
