the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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