I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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