How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
