Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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