I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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