you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
