OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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