i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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