What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize