scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
