never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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