We're facebook friends in real life
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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