honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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