Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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