So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
