I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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