I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
