How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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