On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
