i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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