a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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