I feel like abortions should bother me more
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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