Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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