If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
did i just pee glitter
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
