You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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